What this could mean for your Labubu
Underground vigilante groups are "putting those damn Labubus to justice" as they kidnap these supposedly demonic creatures from unsuspecting people's homes, and hang them in a public setting.
Labubus are little dolls made and produced by the toy company Popmart, currently trending in the United States. Many people believe Labubus to be "cursed" or "demonic" creatures.
People apart of these groups across the country say that Labubus are being cut open and used for satanic rituals in factories that produce the dolls, and they must get rid of the "evil" inside of them.
Are these cute vinyl plush toys really all that evil? Statistics from Popmart show that around 30% of Labubu owners have reported seeing their little friend move on its own, talking to their children, or trying to kill them like it's a doll in a horror movie. 5% of Labubu owners have or plan to sue Popmart for putting their families lives in danger. Popmart denies all claims that the Labubus are demonic or haunted.
Many report that they have seen Labubu corpses hanging from nooses in front of courthouses and on busy sidewalks, witnessing a gruesome view. Others claim they saw masked individuals set up a wooden structure meant for hanging, and saw them hang the Labubus in real time.
Many children and adults have been traumatised as their beloved dolls have been kidnapped from them and executed in public, where anyone can see. Police are working on hunting the vigilante groups down for the damage and deaths caused.
After much controversy, we finally dropped the ball on Mars
The rise of communism was a huge success in many countries of Mars, and we want to save this collapsing planet from making the rich being unable to make more money than they already are.
The country of Rialkuli on Mars has just as much military power as Russia, and will be a significant challege to have war in space. Due to limitations of being able to have war in an area without oxygen and lack of futuristic space guns, they have plans to directly send nukes to Earth; aiming for areas such as Europe and North America where markets are the most free.
Countries such as Russia, Japan, India, the United States, and the UK are heavily prepared for the war, and plan heavy attacks through drastic means. Turkiye warns that this could break out into another world war on planet Earth as there are already tension between multiple countries, but others are willing to take that risk if it means abolishing every bit of communism on planet Mars.
What this means for Americans
Many changes and security measures are expected to be implemented very soon. "You should all expect nuclear alarm sirens to go off occassionally, and don't mind the extra FBI agent spying on your phone. These are all necessary security measures to insure that no citizen gets harmed in the name of war." Says vice president J.D. Vance on Monday.
....What?
A famous online influencer made a video on stalking the President of the United States, titled "I *FOLLOWED* DONALD TRUMP??!! (REAL FOOTAGE)", uploaded to Youtube. It supposedly shows what our president does when he thinks no one is watching. It was revealed later in the video that President Trump is having an argument with the pilot outside his private jet that this is the wrong White House.
After coming back from a vacation on a secret island that was asked not to be disclosed, he showed the pilot a location on Google Maps that is the White House. Apparently he mispelled the location, and it brought him to a community called Whitehouse in Kentucky, rather than the famous White House in Maryland.
The president is furious about the viral footage circulating, saying it was completely the pilot's fault that he ended up in Kentucky. He is actively sending a team to look for the influencer to "bring him to justice", since the influencer refuses to take the footage down despite threatened with a hefty lawsuit.
Official footage came out from first dance in newly constructed ballroom
It was seen that the white supremacist group was invited to the first ballroom dance in the newly constructed ballroom, which now takes up 52,000 of the 55,000 square feet of the White House.
For the most part they had a wonderful and luxurious time here, however some complained how there was white residue left over from the walls being torn down from recent construction, similar to the white residue found in Klan member's noses.
"It was pretty nice, but kinda dusty. Either way, I'm so honoured to have our Klan invited by the one and only president. He says our outfits give a bad image to the government and we were asked not to wear them. I don't remember that bit," says one of the robed specimen interviewed that night. "In fact, I think all of us conservatives should collectively wear these robes as they represent what we stand for -- having our heads in our ugly potato sack cones," he adds.
Many government represenitives state that this is a good idea to invite our enemies to a ballroom dance, as we should all just "get along with each other already.", said by democrat represenitive Nathan Heinz in a speech right after the dance concluded.
Others in opposition of this invite claim it is symbolic of the racism that we just straight up welcome in the country. Protests rise across the country as a common motto rises; "Trump dances with the Klan."
